From: Mom (She has officially gone home MTC crazy I think!)
To: Kaitlyn.garcia@missionary.org
Date: Saturday, July 31, 2021
Subject: Last week of MTC
Well, let’s just say I am officially tapping out as a home MTC mom. And
quite frankly, my heart is still sad that you both didn’t get the chance
to actually attend the real one. I think it would have been incredibly
beneficial for the one here for sure but more on that later.
How was your week? What happened on Friday with Helmer and the family
you met with? Have you come down from cloud 9 since receiving your Visa
email? 
I’m
not 100% sure I have settled my heart quite yet if I am being honest. I
was NOT expecting it quite yet. But I am so so thrilled for you.
Monday didn’t pan out to be too much. We ran to get some stuff for the
horseshoe awards at the end of the night and then I climbed into bed.
Tyler was in Wyoming looking for deer so I slept like a baby! No snoring
sleepbuds needed. 
Tuesday was busy. I had lots going with my calling. I had to find out
how to put a food order in and get the approval sent to the family who
needs it (I did btw and it wasn’t too terrible), I had a couple people
to visit to extend callings to (that’s new now..the President in the
auxiliary is the one who asks someone they want to serve with you take a
calling. So wild!), and then while I was at Lisa Van Rooyen’s your call
came in. It was just as I was standing up to leave when I saw it was
you so I sat back down. Lisa was so great and just grinned when I
chatted with you quickly. I wish I knew her better. I think we would get
along really well honestly. After that I was home literally practicing
your signature for almost 3 hours. Not lying. Almost 1/2 a ream of
paper! I was sick that it wouldn’t look close enough but I used the one
you picked and headed to the UPS store. You’ll never guess who I ran
into when I was walking in!!!….Jen Korth! She looked ROUGH too and I
didn’t immediately recognize her but she said hello so I said hello back
and went to the counter. She was dropping a garbage sack of packages
off (not very many) and we didn't have any other words to share.
Wednesday was a slow start around here. I wanted to get up and go for a
walk but I could not get my brain wrapped around that idea. I was up and
going, but I just couldn't commit to going out the door. I got a lot
done around the house though. Lots of laundry (I swear I have more now
than I ever have!!), some vacuuming (but not all of it...I still have
plenty to do), I got the kitchen cleaned and counters wiped down, and I
got the mud room and my bathroom done. Some days I feel like when I type
out what I did it isn't much, but during the day it sure seems like a
lot! Tyler and I decided to go on a date as well. He planned a place
downtown which was nice that it was something we hadn't ever done.
Before we left he was going to go down and talk to Christian to see how
his last week was going and what his last couple of days of home MTC
were looking like but instead, Christian was in the bathroom so he went
and sat on his bed to wait for him. But then he saw the Facebook
messenger app up and that Christian is busy all day everyday messaging
and chatting with Alaina (and your Dad and a few others as well). I wish
I could describe the disappointment I felt go throughout my entire soul
when Tyler told me. Anyways, he asked Christian about it and of course
Christian said he was following all the rules and that he wasn't using
words to reply but instead just reactions. Even when Tyler pointed out
the message that had been sent 11 minutes prior he still tried to cover
it up. I went down before we headed to dinner and basically told
Christian that he needed to make a call tonight if he was ever going to
really commit 100% to a mission because I was ready to call President
Johnson and let him know that I feel it would be best to release him.
Needless to say, I didn't see Christian anymore that evening even after
we got hom.
Thursday I woke up and had to have my car downtown for the 10,000 mile
service at 9am. When I got home last night there was a note from
Christian on my dresser basically letting me know that it is my fault
that he hasn't been able to commit to his mission and that my
expectations of him as a missionary are too much. I knew I needed to
talk to him about it and so on the way downtown and then on the way back
home, my heart was so full of 'how to' prayers that I was sick by the
time I got home. I spent most of the day in the office while he was in
the MTC classes. I have so much going with this calling, trying to get
paperwork filled out for him to fly next week, school registration crap,
and just life in general that I wonder if my chair will ever fully
recover and not have my cheek imprints molded into it for forever. :/ By
the time he was done with his classes, I asked him to come sit with me
on the porch. I asked him to explain his letter and the reasonings
behind what he wrote. And I asked him to be honest and not tell me what
he thought I wanted to hear. I heard him out and then shared with him
why I said I was disappointed and why I was embarrassed. (Things I had
said before we went to dinner the night before). I was disappointed that
he allowed Satan into his world by using Alaina and your Dad to
continue to live life like he wasn't a missionary. I was disappointed
that he would allow Alaina to take the concern and worry and time that
she is when instead it should be time spent as a missionary. I was
disappointed that he was allowing your Dad to be able to say that the
church is hog wash and doesn't really care if missionaries follow the
rules or not because his own son is proof positive that they still let
you go even if you don't do what they ask. I let him know my feelings
for Alaina and that she would not be someone I would willingly allow in
our home. I let him know about her text and that she is black and white a
liar. I let him know that if he were to come home and choose to marry
her, that it would be a sad day indeed because as it stands today, I
would only allow Christian into our home and not her. I shared with him
that I truly believe he missed out on blessings and opportunities that
the Lord had in store for him throughout the MTC process but that He had
to hold back because Christian never has as of yet, committed himself
100% to being a missionary and the Lord is very mindful of that. I told
him I was embarrassed and angry that for the last 6 weeks there have
been 4 of us (Me, Tyler, you, and Brooklyn) who have sold him as a
stalwart and obedient missionary preparing to serve a mission when in
actuality, he has never fully committed nor become a missionary other
than in words in a setting apart blessing. I reminded him that lying is
my #1 will not tolerate or put up with and yet here he was putting each
of us in the bubble of being those ourselves on his behalf. It was a
hard but very real blunt, straight to the point, talk. After we were
done I had a meeting at a ward family's home that I needed to get to so I
headed there. This calling seems to have something on my schedule every
single night. I do not think I was prepared for that at all!
When I got home I was getting ready for bed and Christian came in. He
said he had a question and then asked me if I would ever change my mind
or feelings towards Alaina. I looked up at him (Tyler lifted his head up
from him phone while he was in the chair in my room) and simply just
said that I was sorry that throughout the entire conversation the only
thing he was worried about was her. I tried to reiterate to him that he
needs to focus on being a missionary and servant to the Lord and that
she should play no factor in his thoughts or worries or concerns. Tyler
didn't have any nice words to say as you can imagine and Christian
didn't love hearing me say that 'no, I will never change the way I feel
about her'. I climbed into bed feeling completely defeated. I don't know
that he will ever truly commit himself to the mission 100% and because
of that I can see way harder than he can ever imagine waiting for him
upon his arrival in Africa, and that scares me.
Friday started with a 3.8 mile walk. And it rained all night long and
was still cloudy and a little chilly outside so it was great! I had to
register Brooklyn for school this last week and I have been waiting like
a mad man for her schedule to show up but still it has not (and it is
4:07pm). I wonder when it will finally hit for her. I finally went to
the Costco today too. I have been putting it off all week. Seriously. I
just didn't want to deal with getting water softener salt by myself so
thankfully Tyler agreed to go with me. I still hate that store. Nothing
will ever change! Ha ha ha. We got home and Brooklyn, Jada, and Cutler
showed up on the golf cart and decided today was car wash day. They
scrubbed that thing and got it tucked in the garage so it wouldn't get
dirty. I pulled out weeds and so many peanut plants growing in the
grass!!! Christian came out on his break and he is still pretty hung up
on Alaina and how we feel about her around here. I finally told him that
he needs to message her and let her know that he is stepping back on
the 'relationship' or whatever it is and that they need to be friends.
Period. I told him at the rate he is going I anticipate that his Mission
President will have to intervene at least twice with his social media
activity and that in the end, he will have no other choice but to send
him home because of her and her influence. I am sick to my stomach over
all of it and I know that it isn't my mission or my problem really in
the end but I just know he has so much more potential and I am sad that
he is allowing her into his life like this!!! I talked with Sister
Davey for a minute on the phone (she is my compassionate service leader)
and then came inside to cool off and find a tall glass of boring old
water. I also needed to get back on the phone with mission travel
because I never got a call back from when I called earlier in the week.
Turns out I have to email the mission itself because the travel agent
downtown has NO clue how to fill out a form that is required, how to
prepay for a Covid test that he will have to take on his arrival, and
that they have never had to send missionaries into Togo to begin with so
downtown has no idea. They also let me know that they will not be
sending a Covid test that he will have to take before he flies like the
email says and instead I am going to have to go pick one up on Monday to
drop off on Tuesday to hopefully have results before he flies on
Thursday. What a freaking nightmare! I tell ya...maybe all around it
would be better if he stayed home and moved out for college instead. We
were supposed to go to dessert with the Millers tonight to a new place
over by the Winco called Brookers but they of course had soccer that
went until past 10pm so we said to heck with them and went alone.
Um...you walk in and everyone is dressed like a pirate or a pirate
wench, there is yo ho ho music over the speaker playing, and the
selection of what you can get is way too overwhelming. My anxiety was on
high alert so I ordered a hot fudge sundae just to feel like I could
run out quick. The vanilla ice cream is black which makes it super weird
to eat and not gag, the girl helping us was annoyed when Tyler told her
that it was plenty when she had ice cream overflowing already and was
going to add more, and overall...I am NEVER going back there again. Holy
cow...too much. Today was the last day of the MTC so tomorrow marks the
start of getting ready to leave for Africa. I told Chrisitan he needs
to empty his room because I am going to put the dresser, nightstand,
and bed in storage and put a much smaller bed in that room so it fits
correctly. I am also going to rip out the white closet organizer crap
and just put a bar in there for clothes. So, tomorrow he will start on
that adventure and clean up. I didn't want to kick him out of a queen
bed to go to a twin or full so instead now that he is leaving I will
make the changes but have his bed and stuff ready so that when he comes
home and moves out it isn't a purchase he has to make. He is still super
worried about Alaina and feelings towards her here. I finally told him I
wanted to hear nothing more of her and that he needs to either keep his
feelings to himself or move on and focus on a mission. We will see.
Saturday...finally! I am so ready for the weekend! It has been a
heavy/full/over worked week. I need to put this one to rest for sure. I
woke up and as I was getting ready to head out for my walk, Tyler asked
if he could join me. Not a huge deal other than it was already just
after 8 and warm and he doesn't walk at a quick pace. Which is fine, I
like his company but by the time we were back home I was sweating like a
sinner in church! Seriously...gross. :/ But it was nice to catch up and
get some plans out in the open and what not. He is going to get up in
the morning and head up to Wyoming again tomorrow while I take care of
the Covid test stuff with Christian, get his malaria medicine started,
take care of Guardian Pest coming (seriously still so gross with a
tarantula!), and then get him 100% packed and ready to fly. I am still
waiting on an email response from his mission office on how to fill out
the online form they want and I guess if they don't get it to me then I
will just have to get him on a plane and trust that the Lord will help
make it happen. There are 2 other Elders flying the same day and they
will need to have the same stuff so....I guess we just have to have the
faith. But it sure makes my anxiety go through the roof just thinking
about it! I am hoping to find some time poolside today. I need the
disconnect. To do just absolutely nothing. Tyler is going to run some
errands and see if Banning can go play with him in Wyoming, Christian
went with some friends to Buffalo Wild Wings, and B is I am sure, going
to have plans with friends too. Should be low key around here today. I
am not touching any chores at all. I figure if Tyler will be gone until
Wednesday I have plenty of time to ready the house and get it taken care
of when he is away. I will have to take the kids to the cabin too
tomorrow to mow and weeder eater and refill bird feeders but that can be
done after church and when it cools down some.
Other than that...this week was full of one day at a time moments and it
was fine. Lots of learning and growing on all of our parts. I am
looking forward to this next week and anticipate lots of nerves that
arrive with each passing day. I have lunch with a sweet new single
sister in our ward at 11:30 on Monday so hopefully that won't interfere
with a call (I told her I had about an hour and a half available and we
are driving separate so fingers crossed!), Evelyn Marse is having
surgery so I need to be in touch with her, and then I need to get a
birthday package out to Elder Rose as well (any suggestions on what to
put in that?! I am stuck...)
I love you to the moon and back and can't wait to talk to you on Monday.
xoxo,
Mom
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| I’m thinking of hosting a ‘Mom day’ on the 1st day of school |
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| I loved the colors in this |
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golf cart washing day (Jada, Brooklyn, and Cutler)
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| a butterfly friend I found on the ground when I was on my walk |
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| these two make my heart happy |
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| Salt Lake Temple under construction. No more spires, the scaffolding around it is crazy, the dirt level has been dug down SO deep, and a beautiful sunset in the background. Crazy that this project isn't slated to be done until like 2024! Way after you are home from your mission!! |
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| the temple under construction is wild. So wild! |
