Phone Call Home: Monday, April 18, 2022
My early Monday calls with this girl are winding down. Today started bright and early with her on the Facebook Messenger. I was up and chatting with her by 4:30am today. She had a few things to take care of with Sister Scioli but they had done those and she was just getting ready to answer emails and then wait for hopefully a bathroom repair that has had water dripping into a bucket for what feels like forever.
Today was a hard call for me as a Mom with Sister Garcia. Hard hard. You could tell almost immediately when she made her video call that something was off, something wasn't sitting right. As we talked and she felt a little more compelled to talk it was clear that there is more to the story than just being off.
12 weeks. This girl has 12 weeks left on her mission. After today she will only have 11 more Pdays to call home. TWELVE...and Satan knows it. And man is he playing games and doing his best to deter Sister Garcia in her thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. Seriously! Why?! Ugh I am so angry and it is no wonder why we are taught to smite that serpent right?! Sister Garcia has 4 things right now that are weighing heavy on her heart:
1. The Sisters that she is in charge of as an STL are going rogue. Like not wanting to obey rules, want to make their own schedules when they are supposed to meet with the STL's, and forcing Sister Garcia and Sister Scioli to have to go to the next step of the District Leaders to find some support and advice on how to best move forward with them. This is hard for Sister Garcia. She wants them to love their mission as much as she loves her and to be all in! She definitely can see the hand of Satan in all of this and has faith that they will work through it but it is so so hard for her
2. Brittan. Sister Garcia has struggled since his Pdays changed to Tuesdays. It isn't like they talk all day but to be able to go back and forth and catch up was good for her. Plus he hasn't been adding stuff to his drive much which makes her feel like he is keeping her out of things. She has been sending a voice recorded email to him each week and he isn't really responding to those either. She just feels like something is missing and also in the same breath that maybe she is just being a crazy girlfriend too. :) These feelings are taking up space and she knows it but just isn't 100% sure how to process all of it when she isn't really able to talk to him. Next week her Pday will be moved to Tuesday so she can attend the temple so hopefully they will have some time to catch up and that will give her some peace on her heart.
3. Brynlee. She misses Brynlee SO much and Brynlee expresses the same when she emails Sister Garcia. Brynlee is moving on in life and doing adult things. She is getting married, her and Bryson found an apartment and they are getting ready to move in next month, and all of this is stuff that both Sister Garcia and Brynlee both envisioned helping each other out with. Not being able to go wedding dress shopping or help set up a new home has been hard on Sister Garcia even though she knows she made the right choice to serve a mission. She just misses her best friend so much. Again, taking space on her heart and she knows it but also can see the light at the end of the tunnel of the mission too so it pulls her differently.
4. Words from General Conference, specifically President Nelson. He gave a talk this month (April 2022 Session) where he said the following "Brothers and Sisters, I know what I am suggesting is not easy. I plead with you to to do all you can to end personal conflicts that are currently raging in your hearts and in your lives." For Sister Garcia, who has made it a point on her mission to heed the words of our beloved Prophet, this one pulls the very most at her attention. This one screams her Dad and she is overcome with frustration and almost to the point of tears when she shared with me some of her feelings. Sister Garcia has had some key moments taken from her personally on her growth within the Gospel by her Dad. From the day she was baptized to the day she gave her mission farewell talk to our ward. He can't seem to let her have her joy in that but rather he makes it a point to turn it to him. Her Dad has not been supportive of her joining the church, choosing to serve a mission, or even putting any sort of genuine honest interest in what she is doing while on her mission. He doesn't email regularly, doesn't ask about what life is like for her, or even show that he is proud of all she is doing every single day. He has gone as far as telling her that it is instead a waste of her time to be there since she hasn't even baptized anyone (this was before her baptism in Brazil). To say that he has been brutal is an understatement and she recognizes this. Today her heart was heavy with memories of the day she gave her mission farewell talk and the texts that blew up her phone during Sacrament Meeting. They were horrible and as I sat next to her on the stand that Sunday I will never forget watching as she fell in despair and as you could see sadness and disappointment come over her whole person because of words from him and from his family. Sister Garcia remembers this day like it was just yesterday and the feelings that stemmed from this are weighing on her heart as she wants to do what she has learned to do in 'follow the words of our Prophet'. Facebook messages and emails have been pretty non-existent during her mission until recently from her Dad but when he does reach out it isn't to find out about her. Instead he is showing off a new car or talking about his football kids. All of this hurts Sister Garcia and rightfully so. She is starting to wonder what a relationship with her own Dad will look like when she returns home. She is nervous and apprehensive. She is unsure. And this makes my own heart heavy for her. I cannot imagine the turmoil that her whole self must be trying to process.
I do not want to deter Sister Garcia from a relationship with her Dad but I want her to know that she is in charge of herself and those that she allows into her life. I want her to know her worth and that she is capable and strong enough to set boundaries for anyone who comes into her life. I try to remind her that she deserves only the very best and I want to support and help guide her on her next step into the adult world of life she is going to jump into here real soon. I think she knows that all I want for her is her ultimate happiness but when she has the influence of another parent she has two sides to process.
We talked through #4 that is weighing heavily for a long period of time today. I tried to help reason with her that she has a small window left on her mission and I want her to try her best to focus and finish strong. She even asked Tyler for his advice on how to do this very thing. He told her to have fun, go out and have a good attitude, and try to not let home and what comes next take up much time or space in her life. :) (He immediately recognized that she was down today too when he came in during our call). At the end of the day she said that she is going to live in the very moment she is in. She recognizes that she will never have these days back, she will never have her mission back, and she wants to leave no stone un-turned while she is serving. She puts a smile on her face and I want to believe her but I mindful of the fact that she is trying to sell the whole scenario to me too. :) This week and the prayers that will go out on Sister Garcia's behalf will be heavier than I think they ever have been during her entire mission.
Sister Garcia recognizes that in the next 11 weeks she will face some of her hardest struggles yet. She realizes that Satan will work harder than ever as she has a desire to finish strong and as she reminds him that she is on the Lords time and doing His work. Recognizing vs fighting through it are two very different things and I will be certain to keep thoughts on my heart each day very specific for her. I will be certain to keep her name in the temple and be diligent in making sure I do what I can from home for her. She is an amazing missionary and our lives are blessed and better for her choice to serve. I absolutely love being able to share with those who ask exactly how her mission is going and all she is learning (and teaching me too!).
These next weeks will go by so quickly and man alive am I ever so glad! I miss my girl and am ready for her to be home. Yet...on the flip side I am sad for those in Brazil to lose her too. Talk about a double edged sword! 66 weeks down 11 more to go. Time is flying by.
I love you for forever and for always,
Mom
