Email from Home: Saturday, May 21, 2022
From: Mom
Date: Saturday, May 21, 2022
Subject: "Love"
Hey!
How are you? How was your week? Did you have any
exchanges this week? How did they go if so? How was your week knowing
that it was the final with sweet Sister Scioli? I have to admit that
each time I would allow myself to think about it I could get teary eyed
real quick. I don't know what it is about her but it's different. It's
Sister Parrish different on my heart. <3 (Please be sure to give her a
fat old squeeze from me ok?)
This week at home
has been fine. It has been a lot of very open and hard discussions
surrounding Dawson and his funeral that was today. I wish I could tell
you just how hard all of this has affected Tyler. It has been good for
me to see and to be able to talk through some of my feelings with him as
well. I don't know Dawson and I can barely remember meeting Nate and
Jaime maybe like 2 times is all but it is hard. To know that your life
can change so quick is mind blowing. To know that within 72 hours you
have called 911, had a kid life flighted, lost a child, and are in the
thick of preparing a funeral. Oh...and you should probably find a way to
still parent, still be a spouse, and try to find a chance to process
and start the grieving process. I cannot even begin to imagine all of
the feelings they must have gone through.
The
funeral was today and it was 2 hours away. We were up early and when we
got to the church I knew this would be hard. Tyler was full of tears and
that for me was enough. To see the three brothers of Dawson and his
sweet parents in the viewing line was awful. Like seriously...I hope to
never have to be in this situation or to have any of you have to walk
these sames shoes. There were countless friends from school, so many
teammates, lots of neighborhood/primary friends and all SO young. Can
you even imagine trying to tell your 10 year old that his best friend
(every single one of these kids kept saying that Dawson was their best
friend. It was so cute) had passed away and have them comprehend that?
The service was beautiful. His Uncles spoke such great words and
collectively they all described Dawson as being one word, "love". They
all said that he was the epitome of Christlike love and being able to
listen to those around us and then being able to watch his family showed
just that. At 10 years old, a boy I never met totally changed how I
will move forward in life. I hope that one day people will say that I
loved them enough that I was their best friend too.
Nate
and Jaime looked like yes it was a hard week and this is the worst kind
of hand a parent can be dealt, but they looked so at peace too. As we
stood at the grave site and after the site had been dedicated, I watched
Jaime through my sunglasses. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She
was busy consoling so many others and yet she always had her eyes on the
casket holding the body of her baby. As the three other boys all
touched the casket and then took a hug from Jaime I watched as she began
to head to take her turn as well. But she pulled back and instead went
back to hugging those who were coming up to her. She wasn't quite ready
and I can't say I blame her. It was then that Tyler and I recognized
that it was time for us to go. We needed to allow Jaime, Nate, and those
three boys some alone time to say their final goodbyes without everyone
looking on. I had tears and snot running out of my nose! It was
seriously so hard.
Part of the service
today included a piano solo of "Families Can Be Together Forever" and
for the first time ever I wasn't a bawling mess just listening to it.
Instead I was more feeling the angst and pull in my heart that if
anything were to happen to you or to Christian right now, there isn't a
sealing in place for either of you. This is a choice I made and I am
feeling the consequence of that more heavy now than I have ever felt. I
pray that one day, if it is a choice you want, that Tyler and I will
have the opportunity to kneel across an altar in the temple with you to
have you sealed to us. I also pray that the path you are on will be the
one you will forever choose to stay on so that you will one day have
that covenant in place in a marriage and that then any children you are
blessed with will be born into that same covenant and you won't have to
have a heavy on your heart ever. What a special blessing the Lord has
given us with the promise of eternal families. <3
Tyler
and I had a special (late night) visit from Brynlee AND Bryson this
week too! They stopped in and dropped a wedding invite and ended up
staying until 11:30pm just visiting. It was fun to listen. Bryson talked
and talked and Tyler and I did our best to stay awake. Ha. They are
getting super excited for their wedding and Brynlee cannot wait for you
to be home.
This week is low key for us. B
has a lot with volleyball lessons, hopefully her last dermatologist
appointment, and then wisdom teeth out on Friday morning. It will be a
holiday weekend with it being Memorial Day so I think we will take her
to the cabin where she can be low key and away from any madness around
here at home with friends/etc. We will see. We need to get up there and
just stay. I need the slow down that it offers up there for sure.
Anyways,
I want you to know that I love you and I want you to really take a
minute and think about what those 3 words really mean. I want you to be
able to feel those words and know that when I say them it isn't just to
say them. You are one of the three best things I have ever done in my
life and I could not be more proud to be your Mom. Thank you for
choosing me in the beginning and for trusting me to continue to be your
Mom. Thank you for allowing me into your life and on your adventures in
life. Thank you for allowing me to love you. Have the very best Sunday
and know that we are here for you always. We think of you, we talk about
you, we miss you, and more importantly, we LOVE you.
I love you for forever and for always,
Mom
